Despite our 14-month break-up, I’m getting back together with the marathon.

This week, I signed up for my sixth marathon – the Albany Marathon on March 1, 2014, in Albany, Georgia. It has been more than a year since I’ve run a marathon. After finishing the Marine Corps Marathon in 2012, I told my family I was done with the marathon distance. I was a bit burnt out from the high mileage, and truth be told, the marathon had broken my heart 3 races in a row. I didn’t feel good during my last 3 consecutive marathons, and I didn’t meet my goal times at any of them. I needed a break.

During the past year, I’ve focused on long distance triathlons, half marathons and getting faster. In the afterglow of the amazingness that was the Beach2Battleship Half Iron Triathlon earlier this fall, I decided I wanted to return to the start line of another 26.2.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the inexplicable pull this distance has over so many of us. Marathons are emotional, challenging and painful, and yet, we keep going back. We keep training and racing. Because running a marathon is something that allows us to test what we’re truly capable of, achieve our greatness and find our extraordinary. But it’s also a lot like dating an unstable boyfriend (or girlfriend). You all know the person I’m talking about. The person who was totally wrong for us but who we kept hanging out with anyway. The one who was often selfish, reckless with our feelings and didn’t deserve our love (not to mention the one our parents secretly hated). Think about the marathon. Sound familiar?

Running a marathon is a lot like dating an unstable boyfriend (or girlfriend). Note the similarities:

• They’re moody. Just like Mr. or Miss Wrong could be sweet as pie one day and completely selfish the next, we never know what we’re going to get on race day. We might select a race in late fall somewhere known for cool/cold temperatures, and race day serves up temperatures in the 80s (happened: Chicago Marathon 2010). We can put our all into training, and come race day, face 20 mph winds in the middle of a hurricane (happened: Marine Corps Marathon 2012). Every once in a while, the stars and moon align and we get a perfect race day (happened: Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans 2011), but most of the time we have to be flexible in adapting to the conditions and race day surprises we receive.
• We can’t change them. You aren’t going to change the habits of a bad boyfriend or unstable girlfriend. Most people are who they are. Similarly, there are factors associated with the marathon that are simply out of our control. We can’t control the weather. We can’t change the fact that the last 6 miles are going to be hard. We can’t control whether our digestive system will cooperate or rebel on race morning. We can’t subtract miles. We have to accept the things we can’t change and determine if we still want to be in the relationship with our long run.
• They hurt us. If you’ve ever run a marathon, you know what the second half feels like. You know about taking ice baths after long training runs, nurturing nagging aches and pains and having to walk backwards down stairs after races. You know all about IT band syndrome, tendonitis, plantar fasciitis and runner’s knee. Love hurts.
• They can break our heart. When you train for 5 months, pour your heart and soul into something, give up Friday nights for Saturday morning runs and put your body through hell, you want it to all be worth it. You want to realize the goal you set out to conquer. You want to feel good on race day. Sometimes that happens. Sometimes it doesn’t. You don’t get a re-do the next weekend. Many of us only run 1 or 2 marathons a year. In the 5 marathons I’ve run so far, I’ve only felt good and exceeded my goal in one of them. I think my training approach is much stronger and more focused now, but nevertheless, smart training doesn’t always ensure a successful race. And when that happens, it breaks our hearts.
• And yet, we keep going back to them. While dating Mr. Wrong, how many times did you tell yourself you were not going to get back together or let him hurt you like that again? Despite the pain, despite the hard races and the tough finishes, we keep signing up. We keep restarting the training cycle. We keep pushing our body to see what we’re capable of. We have selective amnesia and forget about the hard parts. I said I was done with marathons, and now #6 is on my calendar and the credit card has been swiped. The high you get from a marathon finish – no matter how hard it is to get there – is unparalleled.
• There’s always another one waiting when we’re ready to start dating again. With nearly 400 marathons across the United States and countless more across the globe, there’s no shortage of options. And you never know when the next race will be “the one.”

In all seriousness, the marathon has changed my life. Yes, it takes a lot of hard work and a little pain along the way. There are ups just like there are downs. But when you experience that moment of crossing the finish line of something that should technically be impossible, there are few things more powerful than that. Here’s to another 26.2.

Do you have a marathon on your 2014 race calendar yet? If so, which one(s) are you running? Has the marathon ever broken your heart? What makes you keep going back?