For the past several weeks, I’ve been sharing my mental and physical challenges of training with you – or in other words – my inconsistency. I’ve been on a roller coaster ride with my training for longer than I’d like to admit. One week I’m flying high and the next I’m dive-bombing to the ground at the speed of light. Last Monday was a high point. A sign that the unladylike runner you know was back to her disciplined, dedicated self. And yet, this past week was a complete 180. Inconsistent.

in·con·sist·ent [in-kuhn-sis-tuhnt]

adjective
1. Lacking in harmony, agreement or compatibility; self-contradictory.
2. Irregular or fickle in behavior or mood.
3. Not consistent in principles, conduct, etc.
4. Acting at variance with professed principles.

If this was a multiple choice test and those were the 4 choices, I’d definitely choose none of the above. That does not, in any way, describe who I am or what I’m about. I’m an all-in person. I do everything to the best of my abilities, no matter how fast or how far it gets me. So why, for too long, am I allowing myself to be associated with this word?

I’ve been doing some introspection during this past week. Someone on Twitter asked me how I was doing Saturday. When I responded that I was being inconsistent with my training, she asked why? Is it work, family, life? What is causing it?

I started thinking about that question. What’s causing this? What’s at the root of my inconsistency?

Here is what I came up with:

• I have a lot of priorities that are taking up my share of mind, heart and calendar at the moment. I’ve started a new job, I’ve been coaching 2 athletes, I maintain this blog and communications with runners across the globe, I’ve been traveling like a maniac, I’m planning 2 parties for milestone events and … oh yeah, somewhere in between I’m trying to live my life and have fun with my family and friends. Perhaps my training is further down the ladder than I’m used to it normally being right now. And that’s ok.
• I no longer have a formal training group like I’ve had in the past. For 3 years, I trained with a group in Atlanta that had dedicated workouts, schedules and pace groups. No matter what you were training for, you always had someone to swim, bike or run with. These days, that group has dissipated, and while I’m a member of a number of running and triathlon communities in Atlanta, it seems like everyone is training for different things and our schedules don’t often synch up. For instance, the majority of my friends are training for IRONMAN Chattanooga. That means they’re cycling way farther and running way slower than I need to be. Others have transitioned to ultra races and trail runs that also don’t synch up with my goals. And that means more workouts alone. The camaraderie and group dynamics is the one thing I love most about training and racing. Without that, it feels a little emptier.
• I’m going to bed too late. The only way for me to successfully and happily get my workouts done is to do them in the morning before the craziness of the day begins. When I conquer them early, I’m happy and feel incredible for the rest of the day. The problem is, I go to bed too late and often am too tired to get up as early as I need to. For instance, last Wednesday I got up at 4:20 a.m. to do some speed work with friends. Awesome right? Well, that same night, I stayed up too late with Mr. rUnladylike, only to be exhausted the next morning and unable to pry myself out of bed before the sun came up. Great Wednesday. Failed Thursday. Inconsistent.
• Finally – and I really hate to say this one – I’m not feeling excited about or motivated by swimming and biking. I find myself wishing all I had to do was running and cross training. It doesn’t mean I never want to swim and bike, I just wish it wasn’t part of my formal schedule. One would say, then don’t train for triathlons this year, right?

And this is where perspective comes in.

per·spec·tive [per-spek-tiv]

noun
1. A way of regarding situations, facts, etc. and judging their relative importance.
2. The proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it.

Yesterday, I found myself so wrapped up in my training woes. It was making me depressed and then pissed and then I spent time coming up with solutions to be more consistent. And then I went to a film premier about a man named (Steve) with ALS (also known as Lou Gerig’s disease). And everything – my mood, my thought process, my perspective – changed instantly.

Steve is just one year younger than me, and he probably will not live to see another year. Not only did I get to see his story on screen, but I got to see him and his family in person at the show. In the 2 years since his diagnosis, he has lost all ability to do everything we take for granted: walk, run, sit, stand, talk, breathe on his own, eat without a feeding tube, do anything at all without the help of someone else. He communicates by using his eyes on a computer screen that verbalizes what he is thinking. He has a wife and a great family and lots of amazing friends who would give anything to change this. They are inspiring and amazing and so full of what is important in life.

I sat in the theater sobbing and imagining what I would do if that was Mr. rUnladylike. Or one of my parents. Or my best friend. I felt ashamed for the things I was complaining about. I felt so incredibly embarrassed that I am sitting here worrying about why I can’t get up earlier or find a running group with my same goals or complaining because I don’t want to swim or run – things that this man and his family would give anything in the world to be able to do.

So, I’m not going to complain about it anymore. I’m going to have perspective in all things, or at least try to. When I don’t want to swim or bike or run or wake up early, I’m going to think of Steve. What would Steve do if he could? How can I be better? Live better? Love better? And that is what I’m going to try to do.

I hope you will join me.

Last Week’s Workouts:

• Tuesday: Swam 2,000 with sets of 100 meters as the main set
• Wednesday: 5-mile speed workout with 2 x 800 at 6:30 pace; 53-minute bike ride on the trainer
• Friday: 7-mile run with 4 attempted tempo miles – got in 2 tempo miles (7:10 and 7:26) before I lost all energy and struggled my way through the rest of the workout
• Sunday: 12-miles at 8:45 average pace (Finally …  a victory! I felt great during this run despite the heat and humidity. My last two miles were 8:05 and 7:43).

Have you ever had a moment where you were suddenly hit with immense perspective that made you realize how insignificant some of the things you worry about on a regular basis are? What are you most grateful for today?