It was a crisp September day in New York City. I was sitting in a meeting on the 17^th floor of an office building with a beautiful view of the Big Apple when the email came through: Your Boston Qualifying time from the 2014 Chicago Marathon is admirable, but it wasn’t enough to secure your spot in the 2016 race. Better luck next year.

On that day, I openly shared my raw and conflicting feelings. I knew it was inevitable with the influx of registrants. It still hurt anyway. I decided it probably happened for a reason. I moved on.

So, you can imagine how I felt when I received an email earlier this week inviting me to run the Boston Marathon, including a free race entry and covering travel costs as part of a team of running bloggers and social media influencers. A dream scenario right?

Well, you can also imagine how hard it was for me to turn it down. Reopen would. Apply salt. Repeat.

Yep, I said no. It pained me to do it, but it was the right thing to do.

In today’s world where it seems everyone has a blog and the lines can easily become blurred by companies trying to pay influencers to help amplify their message, it can be difficult as a reader to distinguish who is doing something because they believe in it and who is getting paid to post content that they may or may not be passionate about.

Three years, four months and two days ago, I started runladylike.com. On that day, I promised you the words (and actions) on these pages would be honest and uncensored. I’m self-governed by a belief in doing what’s right, not what’s easy, even when the alternative is sometimes more desirable. I turned down my “second chance” to run Boston – perhaps one of the most incredible running offers I may ever receive and one I desperately wanted to say yes to – because I didn’t believe it was the right thing to do.

You’re probably wondering why? It boiled down to three simple reasons.

1. The company that offered me the opportunity has a product I don’t use. I will probably never purchase it, and I’m truthfully brand loyal to other products in the category (aka competitors). How could I run on a team that is sponsored by a company that I don’t feel passionately about?
2. My husband and I are actively trying to have a baby, and it’s possible that I will get pregnant between now and the race in April. I could not accept such a generous offer and risk having to pull out of the race and let a team and thoughtful company down. When I initially registered, I knew that was a possibility, but pulling out of the race if I were to become pregnant would have only affected me. This would have let down a large group, and I don’t back out on commitments.
3. When I run the Boston Marathon, I want to RUN the Boston Marathon. I want to race every single inch of it. I don’t want to do minimal training because I “might” get pregnant. I don’t want to run low mileage. I want to tackle my preparation, train hard and kill the race to the best of my abilities. This April wouldn’t be that.

It’s not a matter of if I’ll run the Boston Marathon, it’s when. It won’t be in 2016 and I may never again have the chance to run it for free, but I’ll re-qualify and race it with the deep desire and passion it deserves on my terms. Running Boston is not a primary goal for me, but I do look forward to the day I’ll toe the line.

Happy running, friends.