A First Time for Everything
Since I was a little girl, I’ve been raised to believe that quitting is never an option. My parents always taught me that when you commit to something, you follow through – even when you no longer want to do it. I will never forget being in the seventh grade and deciding to try out for my middle school cheerleading team. I made the team but quickly realized I hated it. I hated wearing the short skirts to school on game days. I hated that people assumed you were a certain way just because you were a cheerleader. And all I wanted to do was run track. I told my dad I wanted to quit. He said we aren’t quitters and that I would have to finish out the season. Needless to say, I’m not someone who’s comfortable with backing out of a commitment. Not today. Not ever.
That’s why it was hard for me to make the decision to NOT be at the start line of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Raleigh Half Marathon this coming weekend. This will be the first time I’ve registered for a race and not completed it. I’m struggling with not following through with this commitment, but the race has been stressing me out more than it has been giving me joy. Running and racing should be fun (even when we are gunning for a goal time). This one simply isn’t in me.
Why? There are a variety of reasons, but mainly I’m just not ready to race another half marathon. With a very long recovery period after last month’s marathon PR and not having trained with any regularity or plan since that race, the thought of racing doesn’t seem smart or fun to me at the moment. I also participated in the Ragnar Trail Atlanta relay this past weekend (more on that later this week), which has left me sore and a bit tired. Additionally, today is the last day at a job I’ve been working at for more than 8 years. I am starting a new job and new journey at the end of this month, and that has been the priority for me these past few weeks, not my training.
As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Rock ‘n’ Roll Raleigh is my lemon, but I’ll be making lemonade all spring and summer. This week, I’m going to get back on the horse with my triathlon training to begin preparing for some sprint and Olympic distance races. I will also begin seriously training for the Rock ‘n’ Roll Seattle Half Marathon, which I will be tackling at the end of June.
I’d like to not think of this one as quitting … but rather keeping my commitment to be the best version of myself I can be. And racing this upcoming weekend wouldn’t have helped me stay true to that. Instead, I think I’ll go on a nice long run.
Have you ever backed out of a race you had already signed up for? Did you feel guilty about it or did it give you a sense of relief? What is the next race coming up on your schedule?
Comments
Sounds like we were raised in very similar households. I was also taught not to be a quitter and I’ve learned that sometimes when I *need* to quit something for my health and well-being, it’s really tough on me mentally. This is one of the reasons that I’ve been more cautious about races this year…I signed up for too many last year and had a borderline nervous breakdown at one because I wasn’t ready and my heart wasn’t in it. I respect your decision 110%. You’ll come back stronger and maybe, as a more empathetic runner…not that I don’t think you aren’t already, but this may be an experience that provides a basis for understanding when others must make challenging race/not race decisions. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story Christine and I think your perspective is so important. Thanks for the kind words and advice! xo
Life happens & it is hows you roll with the punches 🙂 last time i had to miss a race because 2nd job call me in i was able to transfer my race reg to a friend who was happy to run & i was happy my friend was able to run. Racing should always be fun & in light of what you are juggling your not quiting imho you are making the right choices: )
I don’t think you’re backing out of a commitment – I think you’re honoring your body and being smart. You’re right – running should be fun, not stressful. Since most of us aren’t being paid to run races, I believe there has to be enjoyment in the races we do.
Sometimes you just have to DNS, with the long-view in mind. I once backed out of a 10k for the same reason you’re foregoing this half. It totally sucked, but I know it was the right move.
It seems like you made the right decision to DNS and listen to what your body and heart is telling you. There will always be other races! 😀
Good for you for listening to your needs and putting yourself first. I’ve had a DNS and I HATE it. I feel like I totally let myself down and it sucks.
I’ve finally learned (well, somedays I’m still learning it) that it’s definitely okay to say no to things, especially when it’s affecting my stress levels. Your body and mind will thank you 🙂
Congrats on the next big adventure! It’s totally understandable not to want to run the race. I think quitting and choosing a different, healthier option are not the same thing.
I signed up for a half in May because of a free promo code but I’m not running it. It would mean three half marathons in two months, and it wouldn’t be fun. Since I’m not training for a marathon, I don’t need to do that.
Kim, that sounds like a really smart decision. Too much racing can burn us out. Thanks for your support and kind words! xo
I have never backed out of a race, although there was one instance where I should have. I ran the race, but was incredibly sick, and in hindsight I only got worse afterwards. For me, the high price of running the race (combined with the fact that I had already booked a hotel and gotten my mom to register with me) was what kept me in it.
I think that making the decision to DNS is very tough and brave of you.
I have had to drop out because of injury. It sucks, but you are making the nest decision in the long run.
Ive never backed out of a race but I also stupidly wait until the last minute to sign up so I have trained for races that turned out to be full by the time I got around to it. I think its really smart to listen to what your body wants to do. Backing out is hard but risking injury or beating yourself up over a sub-par race is so not worth it.
It sounds like you’re making the right decision! I’ve never backed out of a race, but depending on how some things go in the next few weeks I may have to defer a fall half that I signed up for and have purposely not made any firm commitments for my fall yet.
Being smart is better than wishing you weren’t doing it the entire race,
I missed two last fall for injury and hated it, but knew it was for the best. Get healthy 😉
It must have been so hard for you to make this decision, but you have many more to look forward to! I’ve had 2 DNS’s due to injury, and I also had to change a full marathon to half since I was recovering from PT and wasn’t able to build up the mileage. Don’t feel bad!!
At least you were able to figure it out before you were at the starting line. They say that “getting out the door” is the hard part but sometimes its really the best decision not too.
I’m so sorry, Jes. It’s hard having to make these kinds of decisions, but I don’t see it as quitting. Sometimes, we have to listen to our bodies, our minds and our hearts, and make tough decisions for a greater good. I haven’t had a DNS yet – I almost did at the Gate a few weeks ago, but in the end, I decided I wanted the experience more than my injury and went for it. Whatever you do, have no regrets. You’ll get it next time. Best of luck with your new position and this new journey!
Hey Jesica
I realize it is a tough decision. Especially with your personal convictions. You are making the the right decision though as you have weighed it out thoroughly.
I can share that I had to DNS for the fall Atlanta marathon in 2012. I was suffering with anemia and knew if I didn’t pull out I could seriously hurt myself. So I grabbed my camera and off I went to support and photo my running partners.
My next race is the 50k!!! Yikes it is here!!
You definitely made the right decision! I have pulled out of races I was signed up for, and for similar reasons – either feeling like I wasn’t ready, or that the thought of racing was stressing me out. You also have to keep your number one goal race in mind, and if that’s the half in June, then it would be a bad idea to jeopardize that just so you could say you didn’t back out of a race. (Having written all this, I know there’s still probably a sinking feeling, so, hugs!).
When you are used to following through and not quitting, quitting suddenly becomes a feeling that is so unfamiliar.
I would suggest you reframe the quitting into “making the smart decision.” Usually they’re not one and the same, but in this case, I think they definitely are! You know your limits, and thats admirable. Completely different from quitting! You’re an inspiration 🙂
Sounds like a smart decision. Better to wait until you can enjoy it and feel ready!
Congrats on the new job – I can’t wait to hear all about it!!
My first half was a DNS. I got injured and could barely walk…my PT and ortho said no. I ran through a nagging thing for weeks and one week before the race it was full blown injury. I was devestated and I may have cried. It’s a tough decision but you need to use your head.
That said I’m running a half this weekend that I know won’t be a stellar performance due to circumstances..I’m running it without a watch and just for fun…I’m looking at it as just a 13.1 training run. We’ll see how that mentality works out. Lol
Thanks for sharing your experiences and good luck with your half this weekend! Stay healthy and happy running! xo
Just had to pull out of Boston :-((( Tears have been shed but I have been battling an angry IT Band and it won. As you mentioned….training and “trying” to run was getting so stressful and frustrating as I watched the days go by and the date of the race get closer. I run because I love to run and because it’s a major stress relief/therapy. When I realized how stressed out it was making me…and my body…I had to admit this is just not my year.
Oh Michelle, I am so sorry to hear that but you are doing the right thing to keep running healthy and happy in the long-term. There will be other BQs and other Boston Marathons. Get healthy and I’ll be thinking about you. xo
It is a sad moment when you realize you can’t go to the start after all those weeks of training. But sometimes it is the right decision.
My husband and I had to decide to back out of a signed up marathon because we were sick for a long time and couldn’t train enough to make it safe through the race.
A friend then told me: “Take a Runners World Magazine. Look at the race calendar. And what to you see? Marathons, marathons and even more marathons in the future.”
I think you deserve kudos for realizing that you shouldn’t do this race and listening to your body. Runners are crazy and sometimes we (they) forget to listen to their body and not be overly competitive! Congrats on your new job and enjoy your non-race, you deserve it! Your body deserves it! All I can say, is at least you didn’t miss a race because you came at the incorrect start time (my first this year)!!
Thank you Ganeeban! And I’m sorry to hear you had your first race where you missed the start time. That happened to my husband last month. He showed up for a 5K late right as they were pulling up the timing mat. He was able to start just before they disconnected it. At least it makes for a good story now, right? Thanks again for your encouraging words. xo
As sad as I am that we don’t get to hang out for forty eight hours this weekend, you already know I support you in all of your decisions. See you in June! 🙂
Thank you friend! The thing I am going to miss the most is not getting to spend time with you! Yay for June!
While it sucks to not run a race you’re signed up for, you’ve gotta do what’s best for you! And congrats on the new job! 🙂
Like everyone else said, you have to listen to your body! I am amazed at how many races you do, and sometimes it gets to be too much. Do not feel like you are a quitter – you are anything but! It will just push you harder in your next half in June! Good luck with the job transition and getting back on the triathlon training cycle! You rock! I have never had a DNS but I am conservative with planning my races. I usually do one “A” race a season (this year it is my first HIM in June) and 2-3 “B” races before or after it. Then I sign up for smaller races as they come, depending on how I feel.
I think that you made the right decision!! If your heart is not into it (or your legs for that matter) it probably wouldn’t be worth it!!! Can’t wait to hear about your new job!!
I had a DNS at a HIM in 2011. I was so sad but I got super sick 2 days before.
My next race is Big Sur Marathon! Excited!!!
Ahhh! I am SO jealous you are running Big Sur!!! That is definitely on my bucket list as a race to run for fun. I want to take a selfie every mile and enjoy the beauty. There are few places on Earth as wonderful as Big Sur and the CA coast. Enjoy every minute! xoxo