Six years ago, running the Boston Marathon wasn’t on my bucket list. I didn’t know about the qualifying standards and truthfully, I didn’t care. It was just another big marathon in a sea of many great races to be run.

As I grew as a runner – both mentally and physically – I began to understand the power of the Boston Marathon and why people wanted to run the race. I enjoyed watching fellow runners in my training group come back with blue and yellow jackets and recount their favorite moments of the weekend. Nevertheless, I continued to dismiss it. I saw it as something way out of my reach and the qualifying standards a far cry from anything I could ever achieve.

As years passed and I began to get stronger and faster, smarter and more knowledgeable and with more than a half dozen marathons under my belt, I began to view the Boston Marathon with the respect it deserves. I learned about the many incredible stories that mark its vibrant history, like the experience of Kathrine Switzer and so many other amazing athletes who pioneered our sport. After watching Meb capture the win for an American nation that was in despair following the 2013 finish line bombings, I decided I had to run the race. I had to experience this great history. And for the first time, those seemingly formidable qualifying standards no longer felt so out of reach. They were within my grasp and I wanted to seize them.

Last October, I qualified for the Boston Marathon. Which brings me to today. Today, I registered for the 2016 Boston Marathon for the first time while in Chicago for a work trip, the city where I qualified. Kismet?

Although I now very much want to run the race, I don’t believe running the Boston Marathon is what endurance running is about. I also don’t believe it should be the focal point of so many runners’ goals. So often, I see runners allow the qualifying standards to wholly define the success or failure of their races – so much so they forget to see the victory in their journey and in the small wins and personal improvements along the way.

Perhaps you’re thinking – well, that’s easy for you to say because you’ve already qualified. Maybe it is. But whether I run Boston next year, 10 years from now or never, I’ve already been successful because I’ve grown as a runner. Not because I qualified for the Boston Marathon, but because I’ve shaved an hour off my marathon time and 13 minutes off my half marathon time since I started running long distance. Because I believe I’m capable of even more. Because I’ve done things I literally thought were impossible, including running 26.2 miles altogether (yes, for many years I thought that was an impossible thing to do). I can be proud of my running journey irrespective of getting into one race. The journey is much greater than that. Your journey is much greater than that too.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel the surging crowd and running pride coming down the long stretch on Boylston Street. Oh boy, you bet I do. It just means that if I don’t – or you don’t – today or in the future, we all still have so much to be proud of if we’ve learned and grown and felt the power that comes from redefining our limits and crossing finish lines, regardless of the time on the clock.

This really hit me when one of my coaching clients sent me an email this morning reflecting on her marathon last weekend. She has been focused on running a BQ for quite some time and was hoping this would be the race where it would happen. Despite life throwing her a few curve balls and struggling with incorporating speed and tempo work for the first time, she had a strong training season during an unbearably hot summer. She ended up running an almost identical time to her most recent marathon last year, which at the time was a 10-minute PR and her first time breaking the 4-hour barrier. She didn’t get that BQ last weekend, but she is more than capable of running it. And, I’m certain she will.

More importantly, what she learned is the lesson I’m trying to convey, perhaps not nearly as well as her email does. I don’t share her words to tout my coaching, but rather I share it to emphasize that there are so many wonderful and amazing things about everyone’s running journey. When we become too fixated on a single goal that may or may not really matter, it’s easy to lose sight of our true accomplishments.

“A week ago, I ran my ninth marathon. It was a great, tough race on a spectacular course. And while I picked the course, you are the one who made it great.

“We have come a long way since the day we first met last April. Back then I was obsessed with running a Boston qualifier marathon. Nothing other than a BQ would constitute a success. I had been so close to making it the year before that I didn’t value my 10+-minute PR and first sub-4-hour finishing time. All I could think about were the 2 minutes that didn’t make it a BQ.

“With your coaching, support and guidance, I learned that the goal should always be ‘to be the best runner that you can be on the day that is given to you.’ You see, while we can choose to be the best runner that we can be, we don’t get to choose ‘the day.’ Contrary to my beliefs, there is no such thing as a perfect course that will lead to the perfect race. But rather, the perfect races take place when preparation meets opportunity. Too many factors outside our control affect opportunity. Sometimes they all align and sometimes they don’t.

“The marathon was the culmination of 5 months of grueling training during an even more grueling summer. More than anything, it took a great deal of work to get my mindset ready for the challenges of the race. I have evolved as a person and as a runner because of that. While I did not get the BQ I had hoped for (still 2 minutes away), I am happy and optimistic because I gained so much more! It is no longer an ‘all or nothing’ deal. I have a newfound confidence about my running abilities that I have lacked for years (despite having completed 9 marathons and 2 ultra-marathons). I have always run my best races when my mind was strong, and it is stronger now than it has ever been!

“This journey together has taught me that a BQ is but a measure of success. It no longer defines me as a runner. What defines me now is the fact that I was able to be the best runner I could be given the day that was given to me during my marathon. And I have you to thank for that!

“I am eager to start a new chapter in my running career – one in which I no longer feel the need to chase a BQ. And yes, I am now the runner who has what it takes to make it happen someday. Until then, I will concentrate on the preparation part and just let the opportunity present itself. Thank you Jesica, my friend and rUnladylike coach!”

To all of you who registered for the Boston Marathon this month, to all of you who someday will and to those of you who may never run the race, I hope you will see the amazingness inside you and not let any qualifying standards define your personal victories.

Happy running.